My Antidepressant Nightmare – or – How My reputation got Destroyed, and shouldn’t people be asking the right questions?
What does it take to turn an ordinary person into a murderous Psychopath?
In the aftermath of the brutal massacre at Newtown School a few years back, it has come to light that the shooter – as has become the ‘new normal’ in daily events involving guns – was likely taking Antidepressants.
The Wall Street Journal reports that currently one in five Americans are currently taking some kind of psychiatric med, whether antianxiety, antidepressant or anti-psychotic drug, many of which are written by non-psychiatric specialists.
The question becomes, since this epidemic of violence has been underway for sometime now, when will there be some Public Discourse about the hazards of antidepressant drugs? I have my own horror story to relate to this growing public health hazard, which I will share with you. Growing up in the 1960’s and 70’s the only time you ever heard about anything even remotely like this was from the legend of the famous Mob hit known as the Valentine’s Day Massacre a generation ago, or the Vietnam Mei Lei Massacre – that’s how seldom it was.
The link between anti-depressants and violence is well documented. One authoritative source, Dr. Moira Dolan’s from the Medical Accountability Network, has a YouTube video on Antidepressants and Violence. The author of www.ssristories.com, has compiled a list of approximately 5,000 cases of antidepressant-related homicides and suicides, particularly involving gun violence.
The site further notes the shocking statistic that in American hospitals some 200,000 people a year get admitted in a state of anti-depressant induced psychosis. There were an estimated 20 million prescriptions written last year for antidepressants nationwide. Is it any wonder that people armed with guns are going ballistic everywhere else?
FACT SHEET: Get Graphics – Dec 2, 2015 Source: ‘Five thirty eight’ “Mass Shootings More Common In The US”. Richie King/Carl Black/Andrew Flowers.
See BBC News Jan 5, 2016. “Guns In The US – The Statistics
Behind The Violence” “13,286 people killed by firearms in 2015 and 26,819 injured.”
How Often Do Mass Shootings Occur? Records Show on Average EVERY DAY
NY Times 12/3/15. & December 2, 2015. Sharon LaFrniere Sarah Cohen, Richard A. Opel, Jr.
The reality is that the public has not caught up with yet – the facts, and no one has a clue what is behind all of this – Antidepressants & Violence.
As a result of overdosing on SSRI Antidepressants I found myself in the crosshairs of a number of authorities while reacting badly to those drugs. I didn’t wind up being hospitalized, but may very well have been better off if I had been. I literally, temporarily lost my mind as well in a grotesque state of affairs, which has left my reputation a pile of ashes.
Like the SSRI website explains, when psychotic, once you lose your mind in a state like that you kind of enter into a Kafkaesk world, where even the people who purportedly are there to help you keep their distance and you become a pariah. Furthermore, once you have lost your mind in this manner, to many outsiders it is a foregone conclusion that you probably never had it to begin with – blaming the victim.
One of SSRI Antidepressants known side-effects are akathisia and hyperkinisia: a deep inner restlessness that easily goads you into taking action – any kind of action, even violence.
Believing it was helping me (now that I was no longer crying everyday) and unbeknownst to my doctor, I began to take more and more of the drug.
Over the course of about a year I became heavily overmedicated on SSRI’s. By the time the crisis hit a crescendo I was deeply ensnared and hostile in a number of seething battles all around me at work, at home, commuting, even with strangers. People were angry with me everywhere – whereas I was equally self assured, confident that I was the victim. And I was becoming like a venomous spider myself, but with no warning labels on the bottles of pills I took, I had no viable feedback mechanism – that there was something wrong with me.
No one could have known what was happening to me, but I was gradually drifting into a state of paranoid psychosis. All the while I kept taking more and more of the pills, maybe 10 – 20 times the one or two pills I was prescribed.
The final explosive blowouts happened as the perpetrator at my job, who was quietly needling me, touched off one final fitful psychotic screaming tirade at her at the top of my lungs and slamming a door at her as hard as I could. As I said earlier, the state of my growing hostility encroached on my neighbors as well. And a similar fate awaited my next door elderly neighbor, as I proceeded to scream at her in a loud, highly intense screaming tirade which probably woke up half my neighbors. The immediate aftermath of this was that this neighbor, in a state of rage denounced me as a violent rapist, a murderer, to anyone and everyone that would listen to her, in my community and elsewhere.
At my job I had to go through the humiliation of having everything documented as was fully possible and was forcibly sent for a psychological evaluation which lasted about six months. They wanted so badly to fire me that they spared no opportunity to let me know how deeply in disfavor I was. At home and in my community, I am regarded as a pariah at best and an untouchable by everyone else. It was like an Atom Bomb blew up over my house – everyone keeps their distance from my family, but especially from me. And this destroyed reputation is widespread about the Island. When I walk down the street people scatter.
Even this neighbor who (she knows full well the consequences of her words) did this to my reputation has become fairly obviously mentally ill from the severity of this experience, which was no fault of her own, as people run away when they see her, too.
These events were a direct result of an antidepressant induced state of psychosis I was in from overdosing on this SSRI anti depressant drug. I no longer feel this way, but now I can honestly say that in both cases I was so extremely angry, ballistic out of my mind, and purple with rage that these people I was entangled with at the time were damned lucky, as was I, that I didn’t have access to a weapon!
Fortunately no one got hurt, but from my personal tragedy it has become clear to me from how my own state of mind was intensely altered that antidepressants are extremely dangerous and can erupt into deadly violence. They have mushroomed into a looming, large-scale lethal public hazard.
They need to be squarely in the center of a rigorous public debate about their safety and effectiveness. Too many lives have been sacrificed, and it is clear that unless something is done about it, many more may become martyrs on the alter of Psychiatric mismanagement.